So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
