I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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