who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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