I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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