I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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