What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
