Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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