I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize