i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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