Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
