I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't put those talents on a resume
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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