Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
