I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
