He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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