weddingsv make me drug and hornr
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
