So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
