The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize