I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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