Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
