i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
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He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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