I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
