woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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