yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
