Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
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Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
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When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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