yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The adults are the big ones right?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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