he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
