I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
