I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
