Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
