soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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