i'm lost and i look like a hooker
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
