I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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