Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Randomize
