No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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