I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
