Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
and she was petting her beer can
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
