I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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