We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
