I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
