Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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