My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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