i just made my gag reflex go away.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize