I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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