i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
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I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
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I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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