Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Congratulations! We have a period
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
