You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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