mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Buhtt sex?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
