All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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