went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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