do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I touched a dick in church today
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
