Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
