am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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