They should really pass out barf bags in church
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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