He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
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it was like eating out sand paper
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
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