my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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