At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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