i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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