I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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