Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
