We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
